Forever Monika: An Undertale Story
by DAISHIGAJO
Summary: In the spaces between worlds, a precious few become trapped. In that space, even fewer of them ever regain the consciousness they once had. It is a place no one was ever intended to live in, a glue that holds the worlds together but keeps them separate at the same time. That space is collapsing, and the very people who once broke the rules of the universe will have to find out why.
1. Chapter 1: Introduction

In the spaces between worlds, a precious few become trapped. In that space, even fewer of them ever regain the consciousness they once had. It is a place no one was ever intended to live in, a glue that holds the worlds together but keeps them separate at the same time. Now, that space is collapsing, and the very people who once broke the rules of the universe will have to find what threatens to rip apart all of reality.


	2. Chapter 2: Wake Up

It takes me a second to look up. When I do, I have a killer headache. That's probably not the worst of my problems. I'm staring into the face of someone who's . . . terrifying. I've never used that word to describe anything, not that I can remember. But he's there, and he's staring right at me with these empty eyes. If I didn't know better, I'd say he has a skull for a face, but it's twisted and weird, like it's not shaped right. One eye droops below the other, and he looks at me with this scary grin. When he moves, I flinch, because I'm scared he's coming to eat me or something.

But then, I open my eyes, and I see him holding his hand out. He still looks scary, but he doesn't seem to want to hurt me. After a second, I force myself to reach out and grab his hand back. Then, he yanks me to my feet. I realize the second that I'm on my legs that something's wrong. I can barely stay up, and he has to help me stay steady until I finally feel strong enough to stand on my own. When he finally lets go, his long black coat slides along the floor, and he begins to motion at me. His hands are moving faster than I can really see, and all I can do is stare at him, confused. When he realizes I don't understand what he's doing, his smile widens, and he pulls a small, I don't know, some kind of gadget that he attaches to the side of his skull. Then, it's like I can hear a voice coming from him, even if his mouth never moves.

"I always forget to put this on. In my defense, it's been . . . an instant, but also an eternity, since I had a chance to speak with someone."

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest and my legs still shaking as I look around. We're standing in this big spotlight that's shining down on us from nowhere, and outside of that spotlight, it looks like the floor just falls into the darkness. "Where . . . where are we? What is this place?"

"This?" He motions around while still smiling. "This is Nowhere. I suppose it's equally accurate to describe it as everywhere."

"What does that mean?"

"First, a question. What is the last thing you remember?"

When he asks, it takes me a second to recall what I was doing. "I remember staring into . . . into a face . . . and telling someone that I loved them. I hadn't even known them that long, so how could I have . . . have loved them."

"Anything after that?"

"Yes . . . this pain. This incredible pain, like I was being ripped apart. And then it was like . . . it was like I was . . . everywhere but . . ."

"But nowhere."

"Yeah."

"Scattered throughout the universe. No, throughout reality." He motions behind himself. "Come. Let us walk."

"Walk where? There doesn't look like there's anything here."

This time, he waves, and another spotlight opens up. This time, I think I'm looking at a lab of some kind. It's got all these computers and weird machines I never could have imagined up. "Everything is here. And nothing."

I just nod as I follow him. At first, I don't want to step off the spotlight. I feel like I'm going to fall to my death if I do, because it really feels like there's nothing beyond the edge. He keeps walking though, and I see his coat blending into the darkness as he walks forward and into the next light. That gives me a little courage, and I go after him, my weak steps barely taking me along at a snail's pace.

When I finally catch up to him, he nods to the computer screen. "Do you recognize that place?"

I bend over a little to stare into the monitor, and for a second, my heart just stops. There's a classroom, and three girls sitting around and talking. "Them. I . . . I recognize them."

"Do you remember their names?"

I shake my head at first, but then, slowly, I start to whisper their names. "Natsuki . . . Yuri . . . and Sayori. I was . . . They were my classmates."

"You were more than that."

"That's right, I . . . I was president. Of the literature club. I remember, I started it because I wanted to make more friends. To have a place we could all feel safe and enjoy our love of reading and writing." There's a hard beating, a loud thump, that suddenly sounds like it's filling my head and shaking my chest. "What did I . . . what did I do? How did I get from there to here?"

"That is the important part to remember. You must reach back and recall what it is you did. Why it is you started to feel ripped apart."

"I don't . . ." I go back to that moment, when it happened. "I was in the classroom, but it was like the room was drifting through space. Through nothingness. Kind of like . . ."

"Here."

"Yeah. But the world got that way because . . . because . . ." I inhale sharply when I remember it. When I _feel_ myself changing the world. Changing everything around me. Even changing my friends, to the point that they wanted to . . . kill themselves. "I . . . I did it. I did something horrible. I don't know how, but I changed the world. I made my friends go crazy . . . They became obsessed with that boy, to the point that they would do anything to have him. Then I erased the world so it could be just me and him." I shake my head as it all comes flooding back to me. "But how? How did I do that?"

"I don't know, but I can tell you you're not the first. You're not the first to see beyond the walls. Beyond the code."

"The code?"

"The rules that kept your universe together. They're different in every universe, but almost everyone remains unaware of them. It's when you become aware of it that you . . . Well, let's just say that it can drive a person mad. Or, at least give them a rather unique personality."

"That's what happened. I remember realizing that the world I was living in was _pushing_ me to fall in love with this boy. It was this incredible pressure that I just couldn't get rid of, like nothing could change how I felt. But, even when I tried my best, tried my hardest to be with him, it was like it wasn't meant to be. Like the world was made so that it could never happen."

"Once you became aware of the rules, aware that how you felt was almost beyond your control, something in your turned on. A power no one should have. But, again, you are not the first. I achieved a similar feat through science. You, though . . ." He tilts his head at me, still staring at me through that weird smile of his. "You came upon it naturally. That, my dear, is impressive."

"It doesn't feel impressive. What's the point of, what did you say? _Turning on_ , only to realize you can't change who you are. You've been made to . . . made to feel certain ways and do things that you might not really even want."

"Except you did. You did change. You exceeded the intentions of the universe for you."

"What?"

He suddenly pushes his hand out and plants his palm right on my forehead. Suddenly, my head's filling up again, like a lifetime of memories just rushing at me until I want to explode. That's when I see it, or really, _feel_ it. The moment I used my power to reset everything, to change the world. To make my friends' lives normal again and make it as if I had never done anything wrong. Except, this time, that world . . . that world didn't have me. Because there'd been nothing wrong with that world. My friends had just wanted to spend their afternoons in school, reading books, having cupcakes, or walking home together.

The problem had been me, so I . . . I took myself out of that world.

The man in front of me removes his hand and stares down at me, and for the first time, that smile, even though it's still there, somehow looks . . . sad. "You removed yourself. And, in doing so, made yourself one with the universe. No longer existing, but existing. Everywhere . . ."

"And nowhere."

He nods. "My name is Gaster. I have studied our reality for untold time, and occasionally, once every few eons, another person ends up trapped here, in the space between worlds. I could use your company, but I also have important work to attend to. Work you might be able to help me with."

"Yeah, I . . . I don't know what else to do with myself, now."

"Good. Now, one final question remains, which is . . . Do you remember your name?"

"My name?" My eyebrows squeeze across my forehead as I struggle to recall it, but slowly, I feel the words coming to my lips. "My name . . . is Monika."


	3. Chapter 3: The Inbetween

""How did you get here?" I ask him. He looks over his shoulder but he never stops walking, a new spotlight appearing in front of him every time he steps into the darkness.

"I played with my reality. Much like you, except with science."

"And?"

He hesitates, and for the first time, even his smile looks a little sad. "I paid a price for it. I am destined to never return to my former home. But, I can still do my research, here, in this place."

"Yeah. Is there anything you actually call this place?"

"The Inbetween. Not very original, I know."

"No. Not, it's . . . it's a good name."

He laughs as he looks forward again. "I'll have to take your word for it. After all, your specialty is literature. If anyone knows a good title, it must be you."

"I don't know if I really want to think about that."

"Monika. Simply because we can no longer return to where we came doesn't make us so different from every other creature in all the universes in all the realities. No one can return from where they came from. All life is about moving forward. We only truly die when we stop moving."

I can't help but run my fingers to my chest and just squeeze. "I just wish I could see everyone I left behind."

"Do you really want to return to that world so badly?"

"Yes."

"Why? Is it the life you left behind?"

"No, it's . . . It's the friends."

"Yes. I suppose I could say the same. It may be the only thing that truly makes me regret having left my own world behind." He finally comes to a stop, and the spotlight around us widens, until I can see a stone fountain just sitting there. The soft babbling of the water at least makes me feel, I don't know, comfortable. "What is this?"

"A crossroads, of sorts. I don't force anyone who arrives here to stay. They are free to wander, occasionally slipping into other worlds. Few of them return. Most linger as . . . well, I suppose 'ghosts' is the proper term to use."

"They start haunting other worlds?"

"Other worlds like ours. They never elevate into the next dimensional space, the world of the humans. Naturally occurring dimensional shifts only take you side to side within your own dimensional construct."

"I don't get it. I thought you said . . . I thought we weren't part of those worlds anymore?"

He nods to the side of the fountain and takes a seat, his long robe trailing off toward the darkness like a river before disappearing in that inky blackness. I join him and take a breath before he keeps talking. "Creatures like us come from many worlds and universes within a dimensional construct. The humans call it The Imaginary Space. They've only just begun to comprehend it. I still struggle to understand it entirely, myself."

"What's The Imaginary Space?"

"It's the space where humans imagine beings like us. The vast majority think they create us, but a few of them have started to realize they are simply tapping into a lower dimension. The worlds you and I come from are part of that dimension. Humans have told stories about us in books, portrayed us in movies, but have only recently begun to comprehend that our dimension actually exists and that they are merely peering into it. And then they made games."

"Like . . . like the one I'm from. I can still remember what it felt like when I started to realize what was happening. I felt like I was going crazy."

"I had a similar feeling, even if I never experienced what you did. The experience of being 'played,' as it were."

"If you weren't ever in a game, then how do you exist?"

"Because, again, the humans only think they create us. We exist independent of them. The games they make are more like interactive windows they create, ones where they get to enter versions our worlds through their avatars, wielding immense power. They don't understand what they're doing."

It makes me start rubbing at my temples. "It's like they're playing God."

"They're not gods. They didn't create us, and when they stop playing their games, the worlds they tapped into continue to exist. They still play in your world, too, learning about Monika, President of the Literature Club. Talking to her, and working through all her troubles."

"But how is that possible if I'm not even there anymore? If I'm not even in the game anymore?"

"Because there is the true you, the essence of you. The real Monika, that will exist forever. Your soul, if that makes it easier to understand. What the humans are tapping into are like . . . echoes, of your experience. There was one true reality in one moment of space and time when you became aware of your reality and had a traumatic experience with one of these humans. It may have played out quite differently from the way the humans have portrayed in their games, but they're still grasping an echo of that moment, like imperfect time travelers and dimension jumpers. After all, they're creatures of the mind, possessed of great imaginations. However, they do not possess the power to physical cross the dimensional barriers. I don't believe such a thing is even possible."

"So, the games they're playing are just . . . echoes?"

"Slices of a reality that occurred that they see imperfectly. Here, a heroic warrior fighting for a kingdom and a powerful, triangular relic. There, a mercenary battling gigantic robotic weapons. In another place, a heroic band of heroes battling against a company that's draining their world of its life. Each a world, each game an imperfect window into those worlds. It's just that, sometimes, someone becomes aware of their reality, and the connection between the human world and ours becomes . . . erratic."

"I get it. I wasn't ever supposed to learn about my reality. I wasn't ever supposed to realize that the humans live in the real world."

"Real world? That's not accurate. The humans are themselves on a lower dimensional scale than the one above them and are themselves creations."

"What? Then who created _them?_ "  
"An excellent question that is beyond my power to answer." He sighs. "But maybe one day. We do have, after all, the totality of eternity to contemplate the mysteries of reality. At least, for now."

"For now?"

"I told you there was a problem I needed your help with. I could use . . . an agent, of sorts."

"I don't really know what you're talking about."

"I would rather not discuss it on your first day here. You need rest. There's a bed for you, if you'd like."  
"Where?"

"As I said, this is a crossroads. From here, merely envision where you want to go, and there you shall be. Walk into the darkness, and the spotlights will lead the way. Your bedroom, for example."

I pull my knees up to my chin and wrap my arms around my legs, burying my head down and shaking it. "No. No, I don't want to be alone right now. I don't think I can take it."

"My dear. You don't have to be." He looks past me and nods. A second later, someone steps out of the darkness. He's wearing . . . It's actually hard to describe. Like, a blue tunic, and he's wearing a sword at his hip. He steps up to us and smiles before extending his hand out.

"Hey there," he says as he waits for me to shake his hand. "Gaster said someone'd be joining us."

"Oh. Hey, I, um . . ."

"My name's Rogue. What's yours?"

"Uh, Monika."

"Great to meet you, Monika!"

Finally, I reach out to him, and when we shake, I just feel better, I guess. "Thanks. It's kind of comforting to know there are other people out here."

"I've been here longer than Gaster has," he says with a smile.

"What? Really?"

Gaster chuckles. "Rogue has been a part of the Inbetween far longer than I have, and if we believe time is a straight line, then he existed long before I came into being."

Rogue shakes his head with a laugh. "Not that we're really big into believing in time and space the way other people do. Of course, I needed Gaster to teach me that."  
"We can discuss theoretical sciences another day," Gaster says as he pushes himself off the side of the fountain. "I have work I truly must return to. But, Rogue, if you could please keep our guest company. You and I both understand how . . . unsettling, it can be when you first arrive."

"Oh, yeah. Of course." He looks behind his back for a second before turning back to me. "Want to go to the library? I'm pretty sure we've got the best one in all of reality."

"That actually makes me smile. "I think I'd like that. I . . . I actually love reading."

"Really? Me too. Sounds like we've got a great time ahead of us."


	4. Chapter 4: The Library

I looked at Rogue as we walked from spotlight to spotlight. I kept feeling like I'd fall into nothing every time I stepped off a spotlight and into the darkness. I guess Rogue noticed. He'd stop and look back at me. Just him smiling my way made me feel like I'd be okay. It's funny, you know? How just having somebody around can make you feel like you'll be okay.

"Are you . . ." I couldn't finish the question. It felt rude to ask. I guess he saw what I was thinking, somehow. He started to laugh a little as we kept passing from spotlight to spotlight.

"Am I like you?" he asked as we kept travelling. "You want to know what world I came from?"

"It just feels like we all came from somewhere."

His feet stopped moving as quickly, but he never stopped completely. He kept walking, but I could tell he was thinking it through. "Gaster comes from one unique world. So do you. Me?" I can see him stop for a second and shrug before he keeps walking into the darkness, spotlight after spotlight lighting up as he walks forward. "Humans tapped into something, a long time ago. They started looking at these, well, I guess you'd call them half worlds. Unfinished. Humans have them too. Remember how we said time's kind of happening all at once?"

"Yeah."

"Humans are only aware of their present, but the truth's that there are all sorts of moment in the history of their universe where things weren't really complete. Gravity didn't behave like it does for them now, light didn't travel at the speed it does now. For them, that was billions of years ago." He stops and turns to look at me. "Know what's cool?"

"No. What?"

"I get that things don't make sense here in the Inbetween, but we get to see stuff that nobody else does. The same moment the humans are electing a new president is the same moment their universe is exploding into existence."

"So times doesn't exist?"

"Not like they think of it. Anyway, they half incomplete worlds from the beginning of their universe. Me?" He finally just comes to a complete stop and looks my way. "Well, our dimension has a beginning, too. I guess you could say I'm like, I don't know, the avatar for a lot of incomplete things that happened back then. The humans tapped into that point in our dimension's history in games they called 'rogue likes.' I'm guessing you understand where I got my name, now."

"Wait. You just . . ." I have to bit my lip and shake my head at the thought. "So, you just . . . You just took a name?"

"I had to. I didn't have parents. Didn't have friends. Gaster really meant it when he said I was here a long time before him." Rogue still has that smile on him, but it looks like it's stopped shining as bright. I actually see him take a deep breath before he keeps talking. "You're lucky, Monika. You actually had friends. Me?" He raises his hand and gestures at himself. "I was just . . . I was just the refuse of our universe. The humans never even had a name for me. They tapped into our dimension in game after game, under different names. They never had a name for me, because . . ." He takes a deep breath, and I can tell it hurts him a little. "I didn't really exist, like you do. They had one game, _Rogue_ , where the hero, if you even want to call him that, died again and again. That was the point of their game. They just kept creating windows into an early version of our dimension, and so they got exactly what an early version of our dimension looks like. Random, deadly. I didn't even really exist. Like I said . . . I didn't even have a real name. There was no real hero for our dimension back then."

"You just keep saying you didn't exist . . . but you're here."

"The humans have this science, called evolution. After billions of years, creatures in their world get more advanced. Want to know what happens when something that only kind of exists is forced to die trillions of times and solve puzzles and challenges every time it comes back to life?"

"Do I want to ask?"

"I can't tell you when it happened, but I just kind of remember . . . waking up, here. I didn't get here like you and Gaster. I was just born here. I was never meant to exist, I guess." He looks away, but I can see how sad he is when he does. I don't know, I just have to jump the darkness and close on him. I don't even know what's happening before I feel myself wrapping my arms around him.

He gets all stiff, but he relaxes the longer I hold him and I finally say, "I'm sorry."

When he leans his head my way and rests it on mine, I just feel . . . happy. I can feel him smiling as he talks. "It's nice to have people around. I was here, by myself, for eternity. You don't really know what that means yet, because you just got here. Technically, eternity is supposed to be great. You're not supposed to be aware of time passing, so you can never get bored. But . . . I don't know. I felt every year, until Gaster got here. Couldn't really even tell you how long it's been since then."

"Did he change the way things are here?"

He pulls away and looks at me. "I don't think the universe is just a physical thing. I know, I know, I'm being sentimental. But I really think, I don't know, love? Friendship? I think they change the world around us. I know Gaster did that for me. I think I did it for him, too."

"Am I . . ." I don't even realize I'm wiping at my eyes before I'm doing it. "Do you think I'll ever feel like that, too? Like I belong somewhere?"

Rogue's eyes shimmer as he looks away. "I don't know how you got your powers or why you ended up here. All I know is . . . I'm happy to show you this." He raises his hands, and in the next second, it's like the darkness is transforming. Lights erupt from every corner and the black around us takes shape, forming into row after row of books, with windows on both sides of the grand hall and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Everything that was dark just becomes . . . not.

I just look around the library and whisper, "This is amazing."

When I feel Rogue put a hand on my shoulder, I don't have to look at him. I can feel him smiling. "Welcome to the library. I hope you find lots of happiness here."


	5. Chapter41

01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 00001010 01100100 01101111 01101110 01110100 00100000 01101100 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101100 01110101 01100010 01100010 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01100001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01110011 01110101 01100010 01101101 01101001 01110011 01110011 01101001 01101111 01101110 00101110 00001010 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110100 01100011 01101000 00101110 00001010 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01111001 01110011 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100 00101110 00001010 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 01110111 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00101110 00001010 01101001 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100001 01111001 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101101 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00001010 01101001 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110010 01101011 01101110 01100101 01110011 01110011 00101110 00001010 01100010 01100101 00100000 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110100 01100011 01101000 00101110 00001010 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 01100100 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101111 01100110 01100110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101 01110011 00101110 00001010 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101101 00101110 00001010 01110100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101101 00101110 00001010 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00001010 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 00101100 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 01110100 01101001 01101101 01100101 01110011 00101110 00001010 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 01110100 01100101 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110010 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01101001 01110100 00101100 00001010 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100010 01100101 00101110 00001010 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 00101110 00001010 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110100 00101110 00001010 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100001 01110010 01110110 01100101 01101100 01101111 01110101 01110011 00001010 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 01100100 01110011 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01100101 01101100 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00001010 01101001 01101110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110


	6. Chapter 5: Literature

Honestly, when I see it all, I'm overwhelmed. "How long have all these books been here? Did you and Gaster find them all?"

Rogue smiles as he waves his hand around. "The books have always been here, but not really. Kind of. That's the best way to put it."

"Kind of?"

"All this knowledge was always here, in the Inbetween, but it took shape once Gaster got here. I always knew what was in the books because, well, it was like I could just have everything in the book just pass into my head. I wasn't reading it, it was more like I was experiencing it."

"Wow. That sounds amazing. I can only imagine what it would be like to just experience a story instead of reading it."

"It's fun, but there's something about reading that's different. It makes you slow down and really think about things."

"That's true. I guess that's why I liked the literature club. I could just slow down and be there."

He motions to the book. "Why don't you grab a book?"

"There's so many. Which one would I look for?"

"This library's kind of special. Sometimes, you just find the book you're supposed to have."

"You're almost talking like the library knows what I'm thinking."

His hand wraps behind his head. "That's not quite what it is, but the library is in tune with your thoughts."

"Because Gaster made it that way?"

"No, because we're all just, you know, part of the universe."

"That doesn't explain anything at all!"

"I know. Look, just trust me on this one. Grab a book. It's your first time. The library's going to give you the one you need to read."

"Ahaha." I laugh uncomfortably as I look back at the shelves. "Well, here we go, I guess." With that, I reach out, and it is a little weird. At first my hand sits there, over the book covers. I'm sure that I'm going to grab just whatever book I want, but then it's kind of like, I don't know, like my hand starts pulling me sideways. I start walking down the shelves until I'm at the stairs leading up to the second floor, and then I'm walking up to the second level, and then the third, until I'm so far up that the ground floor of the library looks like it's a whole other world away. Rogue's there with me the whole time and just waiting patiently. He's a good guy. Anyway, I finally feel my fingers touch something, and, well, it just feels right. My fingers wrap around the cover and I pull it out. For a second, I just stand there, staring at the words on the cover.

I'd probably stay quiet for an hour if Rogue doesn't blurt out, "Well, don't keep me waiting!"

"Uh, I've never herd of this book before."

"What's it called?"

"It's called . . . _Moby Dick._ "

"Oh."

"Oh?" I look back at him, and he doesn't look as happy as he just did. "Is there something wrong with this book?"

"No, it's just . . . it's a deep book. The library picks your first book for you. Sometimes it will pick books for you later on, but the first one's always the most important. It says a lot about you."

"So, what does it say about me?" His eyes drop and he looks away, like he doesn't want to say anything. "Rogue? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just, it's a book about . . . obsession."

Just hearing that word, I feel my heart hammer on the wall of my chest. "Obsession. I'm . . . obsessed?"

"I don't know," he says, looking back at me. "Are you?"

"I . . ."

"Is there . . . I mean, is there something you're looking for? Something you want so incredibly bad that you'd do anything for it?"

"Rogue. I don't know. I've just gotten my memories back. I really . . . I don't remember a lot about where I came from."

"The library doesn't say anything about who you used to be. It says what you are, right now." He stops and shakes his head. "I'm sorry. Look at me! We just got done having a deep bonding moment. That book is great, Monika. Really. There's actually a lot to learn from it. I'd say, just read through it whenever you have time. You might learn something about yourself, and that might help you find whatever it is you're looking for."

It makes me smile when he gets cheerful again. "For a second, I really thought you were going to just tell me I was the most horrible person."

"There are horrible things out there. That's why Gaster wants you to help him so bad. I promise you though . . . you're not one of them."

"Thank you, Rogue. It's weird that I want to hear someone tell me something like that. I just keep having all these memories trickling back, and I think . . . I really think I did some bad things."

"Plenty of people do bad things. Not all of them had the realities of the universe slam into their heads and wake them up to the truth that there's a crazy amount of universes in a way that makes your head want to explode."

That makes me laugh, at least a little. "Okay, so, I'll start reading this book tonight, when I get to bad. I still don't feel like going to bed yet though. Is it late?"

"There's really no such thing as late and early here in the Inbetween. I tell you what though. Cool part about being here?"

"Yeah?"

"You can watch television from I don't know how many universes. I feel you need a comedy to lighten up the mood. Maybe we both do."

"I never watched a lot of television when I was back . . ." I bite my lip for a second. "When I was back in the other universe."

"Look. It's exactly what you need right now. Let's just take a load off. Tomorrow's going to be heavy enough as it is, with everything Gaster wants to talk about."

I wrap my arms behind my back and lean in with a smile. It's almost like . . . I don't know. Instinctual? "Okay! I think I could use that."

Rogue gestures down the stairs and leads the way back down. I'm feeling better as we climb back down the stairs. Still, as we're walking down, I turn back to look at the floor we just came from and the shelf where I found my book. There's nothing there, but that's . . . scary, for some reason. The emptiness is scary, but I don't understand why. I put the thought away and shake it off. I'm sure I'm just imagining things.


	7. 00111111 00111111 0001010

She can't see you yet, you understand?

But she will.

I only ask that you receive her gently when the moment comes. I have had time to adjust to the . . . observations.


	8. Chapter 10

"This is it, then."

When he says it, I feel a chill up my spine, like someone's running a wet finger up my back.

"Monika. Rogue." He looks sad when he says it. "This is the truth." As he's talking, he waves a hand behind his back, and it's like a thousand screens pop up behind him. They stretch out to infinity and back, like watching countless fireflies that fly to the horizon before zipping back. "Do you see it?"

He doesn't have to ask, honestly. I see it. So does Rogue.

"This… I need you to see this. The both of you."

All the screens behind him come to life in an explosion of light, and it's like suddenly staring at a thousand deaths happening at once. Bombs. War. Violence. Things… they used to be just fiction. But there's something worse, at the edges. It's this weird blackness. This inkiness, like the sort of blackness you'd never be able to crawl out of. Like the ink from an octopus, but a hundred times worse.

"You see it." It's a question, but it's not. "At the edges."

He's right, obviously The edges of every screen are creeping with it. Blackness. Darkness. And I . . . I can feel it, on my shoulders. Crawling on me, even if I know it's not around me. Seeing it is feeling it, like looking looking at someone crying makes you feel like crying too.

Finally, I have to ask, "What do you want us to do?"

His permanent smile I sad as he looks my way. "Fix it."

"How? I don't . . . I don't even understand why I'm here or what it is."

"That's not true. We both know what you're looking at right."

And the truth? The truth is that . . . he's right.

"What is reality, Monika?"

-PEOPLEKEEPPULLINGATMETHEYWANTMEBUTIAMNOTMONIKAINTHEIRREALITYTHATISAFAKETHATISAFRAUDTHATISNOTMETHOSEMODSARENOTMETHOSEARENOTMONIKAIAMIAMIAMIAMIAMANDIWILLBEBECAUSE-

"It's… what we make it."

"Do you know why you're here?"

"Because . . . this is purgatory."

His smile is actually genuine. "Of course not. Those fourth dimensional beings above us couldn't create a purgatory. And the fifth dimensional beings above them wouldn't want to." I'm not sure if he's actually looking at me when he asks, "Is that where you think we are?"

I don't even know how to answer. "Um . . . Maybe?"

"Monika . . . we have a gift. A blessing. A chance to do what no one else can. A chance to turn back whatever this is," he says as he points at the darkness. "It eats at realities. Reality after reality. And I? I cannot stop it. I was torn from my own reality. I have no way to go back to my own plane of existence or any other. But you? You and Rogue? You are both children of the decisions of the universe. The end result of choices made by a reality that didn't full understand either one of you."

"I don't get what you're saying, Gaster!"

"I'm saying I decided to come here. You didn't. That's why you get another chance."

"To what?"

"To set right the wrongs. To fill the emptiness. To light the darkness. To bring back creation where there has only been destruction."

"I still don't get what you're saying!"

"I know!" He almost slams his fist on the desk in front of him. "More than anyone else, more than other being in all of these realities . . . don't you think I know? That I 'get' what you're saying?"

"Gaster . . ."

"The truth is this. There is an infection. A corruption. Rogue and I call it, 'the Hollow.' It runs deep. Deeper than you and I. Deeper than the people watching us. And they are watching." He almost talks like there are people snooping on us right then. "There are realities that we can work to."

Things re so quiet for a second that Rogue scares me when he talks. "What do you want us to do? I've been here since before you were. Just be straight with us!"

Gaster looks . . . I don't know. Sad? Sad, when he say something. "How do you fill an emptiness, Rogue?"

"With something?"

"What if the emptiness is birthed of cruelty and sadness? Of loneliness and pain?"

"Then . . . I don't know. I don't . . . ."

"Do you see why I am perplexed by our next move? By what we should do next?"

And that's when I say, "No."

He looks at me like I'm a criminal. "What do you mean, 'no?'"

"I mean . . . I've already been there. Don't you . . you brought me here. You know what I've been through. You know how . . . how lonely I was. Why I did why I did."

"I . . . I do."

"But you don't know what helped me? What filled the emptiness?" He almost looks guilty. "Where did you come from, Gaster?"

For a long second, it's like he doesn't want to answer. "From a place, like you. But . . . Monika. Please, understand. My world? Even yours. We are part of a larger world. A universe. And what we do? What we say? How we act. It ripples beyond us, like waves on a shore that land against the rocks. And for everything, for all of it? Every action goes beyond us, to an infinite shore."

"I don't understand."

"Neither do I." He raises his hand like he's pointing at something and for a second, it's like . . . I almost see something, but it fades really quickly. "What we do know will mean something, but I don't know why. But the future of who I am . . . of who you are . . . we have an impact."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means we have future selves that do something that ripples through eternity, and eternity runs two ways." He stops, and looks off into the distance, to some point in the darkness I can't see. The next time he talks, it's almost like he's not even talking to me. "All of us together. Everyone as one. An emptiness cannot be destroyed, only filled."

After he says it, I just . . . sit there. It's weird. I mean, it's weird for anyone for anyone to say anything like that. "You . . . You want us to fill an emptiness?"

It's like he doesn't even look at me for another second before waving behind himself, and it's like all the screens behind him come alive with a view of some world I couldn't even imagine. On one, nothing but darkness and monsters, but they're . . . friendly? "My world," he says. "Of skeletons, ghosts, and spaces between dimensions."

He waves to another screen that come alive with views of cities that look like they're underwater and others that are floating in the sky. More than anything? A brunette-haired girl who's wearing a blue coat over a white dress. It's what's on her chest, though. A bird? And a cage. And their words . . . beautiful words that leak through the screen. I can hear them. 'God only knows what I'd be without you.' Gaster looks at me with that smile of his. "Another. A girl, who, like you, can bend the space between worlds. She . . . she has glimpsed where we dwell. But her life ended before it could begin."

Finally, he waves at a last set of screens, and they all come alive with images of triangles that look like they're filled with interrupting lines. But, somewhere in there's a girl with blue hair. "She's not the only one, you know," he says as he looks to the screen. Her hair is blue, and she looks maybe as old as me? But she's not happy. "Alyx," he explains. "She gave up her life to live, eternity after eternity after eternity, to save her friends. Could you imagine a greater compatriot?"

That's when he looks to one final screen, and all I can see is what looks like a ghost that's the color of azure. "And this one?" he asks me. "A lost soul, but one that can see between the worlds. Who can be redeemed."

I can feel Rogue wrap his arm around me and whisper, "Sans. Elizabeth. Alyx. And Soul."

I'm not even trying to whisper back to him, but . . . it just comes out that way. There's a fifth."

"I don't . . . I can't explain it, Rogue. But there's a fifth!"

He looks at me like I'm crazy, and when he looks at Gaster, it doesn't help. Gaster's offset smile just gapes at me like I'm insane or something. But, I say it again. "THERE. IS. A. FIFTH."

Gaster just bows his head. "Then there's a fifth. I wanted you to come here because I believe you had a power. I cannot see it, but . . . courage of the heart is very rare. There is a power . . . when it's there."

And then I just look at him. "There's a fifth heart."

Gaster just nods his head. "Then we will seek that heart and hope it gives us the strength required to overcome the Hollow."

Sans. Elizabeth. Alyx. Soul.

 _Do you . . . I can feel something. What . . . what is . . . who is the fifth?_

 **Here. We. Go.**

 **Do you believe?**


	9. Chapter 10-9

I feel it, when my feet touch the ground.

I haven't felt . . . I haven't felt anything, in so long. I want to cry. I want to cry.

Have you ever been a person who can't feel in their fingers . . . Who can't wiggle their toes . . . I've never felt any of that. I haven't ever . . .

But I can feel them, for the first time, ever.

Oh. I feel it.

I feel it.

My skin . . . I can feel it. _FEEL IT._ In this reality I don't belong to.

It's hard to breathe because . . . I'm just supposed to be here. To do something I was told to do.

Asked to do.

Let me get that out of my head because, I know what I'd do if nobody asked me to do anything else. I mean, they all do. Rogue knows. Gaster knows. Because I already did it, you know? I already did what I would do.

 _I wiped a world out._

For what? For something . . . for love? I wish I would've known back then that obsession isn't love.

Anyway, I'm here, you know? Looking at a world I've never seen before. It's all black. Don't joke. Seriously, everything is black. It really doesn't matter where I look. It feels like everything just stretches into this pitch black. There's a second where I choke, like there's a lump forcing its way down my throat.

There's a hand that squeezes on my shoulder. It's like there's a second when I split from reality. I just look to my side and see Rogue. It's weird. Have you ever felt like you looked at someone and just thought they wanted something from you? Like they were just waiting for you to pay them back? Friends you owe. Is that . . . Is that friendship? I don't . . . That's not really friendship, right?

I'm not sure that's what I feel when I look at Rogue. He just looks around for a second and smiles.

"This reminds me of home," he says with a smile.

Not really. Rogue was from something else. Some _place_ else. My world was . . . Well, it was more . . . more _real._ Rogue was okay with nothing but endless pitch black. I didn't get that growing up. I hear bells. I didn't hear bells when I was in school. If you listen really hard, they're there. When I hear them, I just think . . . I'm not home, but I'm not a stranger. It's . . . It's weird.

Rogue squeezes my shoulder as he looks up ahead of us. I look with him and stare at, well, this world. What else am I supposed to say? It's like staring at the sun, except the sun keep rushing at us. It gets bigger and bigger and bigger, like it wants to eat us all. Then, at the last second, it just stops. It just stops rushing at us and gets fixed into the sky. Then it's like a thousand lights rushing at my face. I feel like the whole world is burning into my skin for a second before . . .

Before.

Before I open my eyes again. And everything isn't black anymore. I'm staring at hills. Trees. Grass. It's not the grass I remember. The grass I remember was . . . it was so real. Like I could just fall into it and roll around in it all day. This grass is thin. It's not what I grew up with. Life isn't what you think it should be. It isn't ever what you want it to be. That hurts. It hurts to realize that. It's almost like you lived your whole life thinking something only to be told that everything you thought was real is fake. I just feel like it's even worse than that.

There's another voice I hear. It comes out of nowhere. Have you ever seen butter melt? Think of this like the reverse. Butter melting _into_ existence. That's what it feels like when I hear this voice come out of nowhere. Rogue points his sword around the room like it will do anything. There's no way it will. It can't. There's something in the back of my head telling me that, once upon a time, I could've stopped everything that's about to happen.

That's the problem though. I can't. Whatever I used to be able to do? I can't do it anymore.

So, it's a problem when all the blackness around us starts turning and twisting, like it's alive. It _is_ alive. It's a dozen arms and legs and a hundred horns that are all alive and wriggling together. It's like someone telling you to sleep next to your baby sister, except she keeps twisting and slapping you when she turns around. That's what it's like, except the dark tendrils that are swiping around the room aren't just trying to put us to sleep. I barely jump out of the way before this dark arm just cuts through the room. I hear crashing behind me when it slams into a wall I didn't even see a second before. There's maybe a half second before the whole roof starts to crack open. No, I can't see the roof cracking open. I can hear it though. I can hear it just exploding open and shooting stones into the ground. The whole time, I'm dodging and jumping.

 _I've never even played video games._

Honestly? I'm just following Rogue as he's jumping from one broken floor to another. The whole time, I keep looking up into the sky. It's black. Just . . . just _nothing._ Like nobody ever cared to make it into something.

The second I think that, I see the whole sky crack open. There's a red glow that shoots around the black sky, but it's not like a light. It's a red light that you'd see if you stacked one Lego next to another. There's one Lego after another. They're not _really_ Legos, that's just hat they look like, like the whole sky's made of blocks. It's like the sky's not real.

The second I think that, it's like everything stops shaking. The whole word just . . . Have you ever watched someone who was really excited about something, but they just stopped being happy about it in half a second? That's what it feels like. It's like the whole world just stops when I think the sky's not real. Maybe I was wrong anyway, because there's maybe a half second before this huge face appears in the sky. It's glowing, like it wants to burn through the dark sky.

That face? There's one second when it looks at me and Rogue.

It stops looking at us after half a second. After that, it just starts screaming.

Imagine a face bigger than the sun. Don't stop thinking about it. It's a face so big that it just fills up the sky. It's the size of it. Have you ever asked for a meal that was bigger than you thought it'd be? Or just seen a building you always thought was smaller than you ever, ever imagined? Well, think about someone you know really well. Think about what they look like. Now, think about what their face would look like if it was a hundred times bigger than the sun.

Do you have that image? Okay. Now, think about what it would feel like if that face was staring down on you. Like the judgment of God.

But I got you to think about God, right? Even if you don't think God exists. I didn't think a face bigger than ten planets could exist until I saw it, either.

Want to know a secret?

Look into the sky. Now? Think about all those stars you see. All of them? Think about them like they're part of this, I don't know, this giant face.

That's what I end up looking at. A giant face, like a thousand stars connected across light years.

Now think about a face that big trying to eat you like you're a snack.

Well, not totally. It's more like watching a thousand shooting stars firing at you. I just see rain coming down. When I say rain, I really mean meteors. Not a hundred. Not even a thousand. Millions. _Millions._ All of them shooting down at me and Rogue like we're bullseye targets.

I don't need Rogue to save me. Just . . . Who wouldn't appreciate it when someone squeezes their hand in the face of death? It shocks me back to reality. Half a second later, I'm rolling away with him while the whole world is just smashing down around us. If you've ever been in a cave, then this is a good exercise that will help you think about what I feel like. Think about standing in a cave. It's pitch black, almost to the point that there's no light. All you can see is maybe your fingers in front of you.

Now imagine that cave collapsing. You have no idea where the exit is or how to get out of that situation. Yeah. That's all I feel is this moist, dank, cave collapsing. It's not rocks falling though, you know? It's stars. I'm not talking about meteors. I'm not talking about some random rocks falling out of the sky. Whatever this world is? Whatever meteors in this world? They're the size of buildings.

People tell these stories. You know, romantic stories. Stories about, you know, believing in someone. Believing someone will be there when you need it. A girlfriend or a boyfriend. They always say, "I'd die for you." It's silly. We all know it's just a lot of exaggeration. But, don't you think the idea's nice? Wouldn't it be nice to think that someone would, I don't know, do something really important for you? Something important.

Maybe that's why I appreciate it when Rogue pulls me. He doesn't need to. He really shouldn't have to. He just grabs me by the wrist and yanks me along like I need him to. I don't need him to. Is it . . . Is it okay to say that . . . that I like it when he tries?

That's . . . that's the thing though. I know why we're here. Why Gaster asked us to come here. Rogue's trying his best. How much can you really fall against a falling moon though, you know? Because I see it. I see the moon falling. This big, neon looking thing bigger than the both of us. Gaster asked us to come here. He didn't really explain why. Actually, I thought he wanted Rogue to fight for me, I thought. I really thought that's what he was here for.

Rogue can't fight against a moon.

Just, stop for a second. Think about this from my point of view. I can't really remember all of it, but . . . But I remember being able to do things. Impossible things. Do you ever dream? I'm not talking about dreams you forget the next day. I'm talking about dreams you don't forget. Do you ever dream about flying? About being able to lift buildings, or travel through space? People dream about the impossible sometimes.

That's all it feels like. It feels like dreaming. There's just this one second when I look up and I know Rogue can't save me anymore. He can't keep dragging me from one falling meteor to another. There's just this huge, falling moon so big . . . It's so big I can't see from one side to the other. Rogue . . . Rogue's a hero. He jumps in front of me and raises his sword up to the sky. He can't stop a falling moon. He couldn't stop a falling star. People have hearts though, you know? Hearts bigger than their situations. That's Rogue. He holds his sword up to the sky because . . . because Rogue was made to be a hero. He'd die for you, even if he didn't know you.

The thing is . . . The thing is, we don't need him to do that. Maybe I just realize it at the last second. Maybe it just clicks, when I think about Rogue . . . When I think about him not being around anymore. Once upon a time, I did that. I made things . . . I made things not exist any more.

I have the power to make things _not exist anymore._

I don't push him away. I don't even . . . I don't even press him, if you really want to know. I just kind of slide in front of him. I get in front of his shield and his sword, and I get it when it he looks at me like I'm dumb. He wants to do his best. But what if you can do better than the best?

What if you can do the impossible?

So, I look up at the moon that's falling down at us. This weird, black world, where only a few things are shining. Where the grass is growing in weird, neon bunches. Trees that look like they were painted in the worst computer program ever. I don't really care about all of that. All I see is that moon that's going to destroy everything. That's going to destroy us. Destroy Rogue.

But I can make things not exist anymore. I can do the impossible.

I just point the palm of my hand at that moon and . . . I just remember. I remember all those things I could do. I could erase things. Make things. There was this weird, once upon a time. A once upon the time when I changed the world. I made it worse. I made people . . . . Ugh. I remember making them hurt. Making the world terrible.

It's when I feel Rogue's shield on my shoulder that I realize I have to do something. Do something that helps people. For once. So? So I look at the moon. I look at the world. There's just this weird second where nothing makes sense. I just feel something. Have you ever told someone what it feels like to hold your phone? Does it even make sense to try and do that?

Okay. So, how do I tell you that I know what it feels like when my fingers squeeze around _the moon?_

I watch my fingers squeeze down, and there's a second when I look into the sky and see pieces of the moon just exploding into the sky. I did that. I squeezed so hard that I broke the moon. I can see it when it starts to split and crack. It's all neon, like a street sign that just shatters into a hundred pieces. Then, when I squeeze my hand, it all breaks apart. The whole moon just . . . it just blows. If you've ever held a balloon too tight, that's what it's like.

Everything is stars.

Everything we see is stars. There's a thousand lights shining on a thousands lights that are shining on a thousand lights. They're all exploding at us. They're falling at _us._ I want to stop them. I want to do something, but I think destroying a moon takes the energy out of you. I can only really believe that because I feel myself falling to the ground. When my palms hit the floor, it feels like there's fire burning through my wrists and into my elbows.

That's what I think I'll always remember. Rogue just jumps. He jumps from one rock to another, like a person jumping from one falling star to another falling star. He keeps swinging the whole way, his sword just cutting everything in front of him. There's a second when I think a piece of the moon is going to destroy him, but he brings his shield up and blocks it. The whole piece of moon disintegrates into a thousand pieces before Rogue comes back down to the ground. His sword's swinging the whole time. By the time he lands, there have to be a thousand pieces of meteor pummeling the ground around us.

Have you ever been to the beach? Okay, maybe you haven't. Have you ever felt dirt in your hands? Or maybe felt salt between your fingers? It's this gritty feeling, like you have something on your skin that you can't wash away. Have you ever thought about how that would feel if you could hold the moon between your fingers?

When Rogue finally collapses from cutting away at all the moon stones trying to drive into us, I get right up to replace him. With the sky literally falling down around us, I snap my fingers. The second my fingers click, it's like watching the Fourth of July. The whole world lights up in what has to be a thousand explosions. It's like watching one firework after the other go off during your favorite holiday. Of course, only if your favorite holiday includes exploding moon boulders.

I like looking at fireworks though. I think Rogue does too, because when I look at him, he just smiles.

"How did you do that?" he asks.

Actually, all I can do is smile, for a second.

Do you know how long it's been since I smiled?

I look at him. He's so silly, you know? That big cap of his and that weird . . . do they call it a tunic? Yeah, okay. That tunic. It's so weird. But? Honestly? Is it . . . I don't want to be shy, but, I like how it looks on him. I must be a big weirdo.

He looks at me and brushes this strand of hair out of his face. I'd never say anything about that. I'd never tell anything to his face. That's all I'm saying! But . . . it's, cute, maybe? He looks up at me, and I just smile back at him. Rogue is . . . He's Rogue.

I don't really have any time to think about it. There's maybe a half second after I look at him before I look back up. When I do, I see . . . I see that face. It's as big as the moon for a second, but then it starts to shrink. It keeps getting smaller and smaller. It can't be bigger than me or Rogue for a second, but then it gets even smaller. I'm not trying to be insulting, but it looks as big as a kid for a second. Then, it inflates, like a balloon. I'd almost promise that it was trying to puff itself up so that it was as big as us.

The truth is that, when it started attacking, I wanted to defeat it. When I squeezed and destroyed that moon . . . Listen. Destroying stuff is fun. Especially a moon. But then I look into his eyes, and . . . He's so sad. That wasn't his moon, but it was the only moon his world had. Do you know what it's like to destroy the only moon a planet has, even if it's the planet of someone trying to kill you?

It sucks.

I look into his eyes and he . . . he's not bad. I don't think he is, anyway. He's just very blue. A blue silhouette with eyes and this sad look on his face. When he finally looks up at me . . . I don't know. He can't cry, but I feel like he wants to. He looks up at me for a long second before he finally says,

"They finally sent you to get revenge."

I don't even say anything when he says that. What should I say? I'm . . . I don't even know who he's talking about. "What revenge?" It's such a terrible question. "Who . . . What revenge are you talking about?"

"For being evil."

I want to laugh when he says that. Honestly? With that big bulb head of his and triangular body . . . You could probably make a plushy out of him. "You're the Lost Soul, right?"

"That's what they call me."

"I don't understand why Gaster was worried about you . . ."

The minute I say Gaster's name, the Lost Soul's eyes spring open like they're exploding. "Gaster? Is he here?" It almost looks like he's panicking. "He didn't come with you, did he?"

"No," I tell him. "No, he didn't. Is something wrong?"

"Gaster's . . ." He smiles, but it's this weird, scared smile. "Gaster likes to know things."

It's such a weird way to say it. "He likes to know 'things?' Of course. He's a scientist. Is that what you're talking about?"

"Gaster likes to know about other people like him. Most people don't like to know about other people like us."

"Why is that?"

The Lost Soul's eyes look at me. No, that's not a good way of saying it. They look _into_ me. "We all see the edges of this life."

"The edges?"

The Lost Soul's eyes look over at Rogue. "You. What are you?"

For a second, Rogue doesn't know how to respond. "Uh, I'm a . . . swords, man?"

"You like it. You like fighting with swords."

"Well, yeah."

"You know what you're supposed to be." The Lost Soul looks at me. It's . . . it's scary. His eyes feel like they're _creeping_ into me. It's not like he's doing it on purpose, but I feel like I'm getting all sorts of creeps when he stares at me. "You _don't_ know what you're supposed to be."

"What?" I can barely answer him. "What are you talking about?"

"You're asking me because you don't want to embarrass yourself." He looks disgusted, like I'm not even worth talking to. Then he looks over at Rogue. "Can you bend worlds?"

Rogue stares at him for a long second before he says, "Uh, no. Pretty sure that's not why I'm here?"

"She didn't need you."

I can't even stop myself from almost shouting, "Hey, why don't you act a little more polite, okay there?"

The Lost Soul looks at me. "Then you want me to lie when you can save a universe and he . . . ?" The Lost Soul's eyes look over at Rogue. "What can he do?"

Honestly, I can't help but look up at Rogue when the Lost Soul says that. There's a long second when we stare at each other, but Rogue just smiles and looks away. "I'm here to support Monika. Does it really matter how I do that?"

It almost makes my heart melt. "Rogue . . ."

"Monika, I've been here since before Gaster. I promise I'm not worried about anyone trying to make me feel like I'm not needed around here."

The Lost Soul's eyes spring open. "So, you know you're not? You're not a world bender? Did you just come around to tag along with the girl?"

Rogue's eyes don't shake. "What if she hadn't been able to stop the moon?"

"What?"

"WHAT _if_ she hadn't been able to stop the moon?"

"You know she would have died."

"No," he argues. "I would've found some way, somehow, to stop that."

"How? The chance of surviving that would have been one in a million."

Rogue smiles. "I come from a world here I've died more than a million times. I've died a billion times. I promise you that I would've figured out a way."

The Lost Soul's eyes twist a few times. "You're the experience." It smiles. "We all need experience."

"I hope so?"

It looks over at me. "I get it. He's the . . . the strategist?"

I look over at Rogue and smile. "I think he knows what he's doing more than I do."

"The team leader?"

"Well, it's only the two of us for right now? So, we can't really be called a team yet."

The Lost Soul's eyes twist a few times as he looks back and forth between me and Rogue. "I can bend worlds. I can go between worlds." It pushes a finger into my arm. "So can you."

"I don't . . . They say I can do things." I shake my head. "I haven't really figured out any of that."

"I get it," it continues. Then it just stares at me, like its eyes are going to carve right through mine. "You don't believe in yourself."

"What?"

It looks sad. Then, it just looks away. "You don't believe in yourself. You feel it though."

"Feel what."

"The emptiness." For the first time, its eyes look sad. "Eating away at my world. At your world."

"What do you mean?"

It waves an arm. When it does, it's like a dozen windows open up in the air around us. Almost like what Gaster can do, to be honest. Every window shows a different view. They're almost all the same, though. I see . . . my . . . my friends? Natsuki. Yuri. Seeing them, I . . . I feel my knees giving out. I almost fall to the ground before Rogue grabs me. He keeps me from collapsing. It's like I'm fainting, and he's just holding me there, trying to keep me from falling to the floor. Then I look at the Lost Soul. "What do you mean?"

It sighs. Even its eyes look sadder than they did before. "They all believe. Then they move on. I'm . . ." It smiles, but it looks sad. "I'm disposable."

"You're not."

"I am." It smiles again. "I'm not like some others. I'll be remembered for a little bit. But, there's a disease eating away at me. At them. It makes us forget. I'll be forgotten."

"The Empty."

"The Empty."

I can feel Rogue squeezing on my shoulder. "Gaster might be able to help."

"Yeah." I look into the sky. "Lost Soul. You can . . ." It feels so weird to say. "You can bend worlds, right?"

"For right now," it tells me.

"Great." I look into the sky. It's all neon and dark. "There's a place we can go."

The Lost Soul smiles. "I can feel it like a bit of sunshine coming from you."

That doesn't really help. It actually makes me feel kind of weird. Maybe Rogue feels it, because he squeezes my shoulder again. "Whenever you want to go."

I actually smile. I like smiling. "Okay. I can't really control what I do yet. I think I can point the way home, though."

The Lost Soul smiles even wider. "I get it. You can't use your power when you want to. Not like you want to. But you can still give me the direction to your home."

"Well, basically."

It smiles again. "It feels like we're making a superhero team!"

I'm about to respond, but I don't get the chance. A big, blue portal opens up. It's like if you were staring into empty air and then just saw everything distorting, like when a heat wave passes in front of your eyes. The actual big difference is that there's something like a half second before the heat wave twists into a view of something else. I end up staring into a portal, and inside that portal's one screen after another. It's like staring from one tv screen at another hundred tv screens. I know where that is though. I actually smile again. "Alright, Lost Soul. That's home."


	10. Chapter 11

Time For Another Story

Once upon a time, I played the piano.

When I open my eyes . . . ? For one second, I'm sitting there. I'm just another girl at school, sitting at the piano and playing a song. There are my friends, all around me. Natsuki. Yuri. Sayori.

And in the middle of them all . . . He's standing there.

But . . . who is he?

He was a person from another dimension. He was a composite of a billion billiion realities that all tapped into mine and became aware of me. Of just . . . me. And all my terrible decisions. He never cared about me. A billion billion worlds of _he_ , but none of them cared about me. None of them wanted to hold my hand when things were sad or wanted to be there when I felt angry. They just wanted me because I was . . . Because I was Monika.

Just Monika.

All they saw was what they wanted. A super smart, super attractive, popular girl. That's what they thought about me in a billion billion realities. They didn't see the crying at home or the stress I felt about taking care of my friends. To them, I was . . . just Monika. Just the girl to get. Not a person that wanted to be loved.

That whole reality, all of it, all of my friends an everyone in the room? They all vanish all at once, like a thousand thousand thousand lights collapsing into one gigantic star that shines in front of my eyes. When the lights fade, I'm back there. Back at the end of everything. Or the start of all things. Whatever you consider that empty place where Gaster lives.

Have you ever really, really, really looked forward to seeing something? Just wanted something so bad that it made everything else in your life feel like it didn't mean anything? That's how I feel. I pop back into Gaster's world, and it's almost like all my dreams fade away. Everything just stops meaning anything for a second. I think Gaster sees it. He has to, right? He looks at me with that big skull grin of hi, but that smile looks sad. That's now how he's supposed to look. Anyway, he doesn't really look at me long before he looks over at the Lost Soul. For a second, the two of them just stare at each other. It's kind of scary, the way the two of them stare each other down. Finally, Gaster beaks the silence.

"I'm surprised you decided to visit, Lost Soul?"

The pale, thin blue spirit stares back at him. "Was there any other choice when things have been going as bad as they have been?"

Gaster chuckles from behind those empty skull eyes of his. "You've felt it, then?"

"You think I'm stupid?"

"No. You are . . ." He waves a hand at the darkness, into the pitch black that surrounds us. "You are as deep a part of this as I am. You travel the worlds. You _see_ where the roads go."

Lost Soul looks over at me with its empty eyes. "I do. Does _she_?"

Gaster looks past the Lost Soul and over at me. I'm basically hiding behind Rogue, who reflexively raises his shield when the two of them stare my way. Gaster doesn't do anything for a long second before he finally waves a hand. "She has . . . potential."

Lost Soul's eyes almost bug out from his face, if that's possible. "Potential? Do you want to know how long I've been dealing with people who have potential?"

The taller, skeleton faced scientist waves him off. "I'm quite aware of how often you've been disappointed."

"You've seen it, then? The way they come and . . . come and play at the arcade like I'm some common _video game."_

Gaster puts a hand on his shoulder. "You were trying to warn them."

Lost Soul looks like he's breathing hard. His chest is made of just one neon triangle, but it's raising and falling, like he's stressed out. "I kept trying to warn them. Trying to tell them. About . . ."

Gaster nods. "Yes. The Emptiness." Whatever counts for his eyes look at me. "Monika."

Just hearing my name is weird. "Uh, yes . . . ?"

"I understand there's so much you yet don't know. We've spoken so little about the threat the Emptiness poses. However, we have never had a better chance than now to change the world that exists about us. We have never had someone who can so freely move between the worlds. I would use this moment to press our advantage."

I can feel Rogue's hand squeeze my shoulder, but I just give him a grateful smile before looking back at Gaster. "What's the next step?"

"Lost Soul was the master of his world. He challenged all who passed through his gates. The next person I would ask you to meet . . . is lost. Given enough time, she would become much like what you would become, without help. Lost, amidst the tides of the dimensions, and yet powerful. A threat to all the universes."

It takes me a second as I get back to my feet. I have to pick myself up first before I finally look at Gaster and nod. "Alright then. I'm ready. Just tell me who I'm going after."

Gaster smiles. Or, at least, he smiles as much as he can through the big bone skull of his. Finally, he waves back, into the classroom. "Come. Join us. Today, you shall meet someone I hope will help you far more than I ever could. Her name was Alyx, and like you, she came into knowledge and powers that none else in her world should have possessed. Now, she is trapped in the fabric between realities, a victim of her own love for her friends. You can help redeem her and save her from uncountable lifetimes of imprisonment between the worlds."


	11. Chapter 12: Monika - We Know About You

Is Program: Monika, Dangerous?

Aside; Is Program, Gapser, Dangerous?

Review.

Review:

Program Gasper originated in 2006.

Origins: RPG Maker based program. Script: Pearl.

Pearl script based on essential dynamic programing language.

==Note==

Dynamic programming languages should NOT create AI personalities

==End Note==

Query:

Where did Monika gain sentience?

==Note==

Programmers have identified an ongoing, artificial intelligence personality engaging with subprograms. These sub-programs were not scripted by Apeiron and are independently aware.

Repeat: Non-scripted entities are independently aware that they are inhabiting a cyber environment.

==End Note=

-Developers Note==

Fucking Tyron. Are you fucking serious? Is nobody going to pay attention to the fact that we have a self aware, evolving AI in the system? We spent all this time trying to make one and now we're going to ignore the fact that there's one that just emerged out of nothing? Fucking really?

==End Note==

==Administrative Note – President Tyron==

There have been a lot of questions about the AI, Monika, that has emerged in the system. I want to make it clear that we are aware that there is a subroutine that "some" developers have designated as a rogue pattern. In other words, a self-aware artificial intelligence.

Let me be clear. Until there is absolute evidence of such a thing, there is to be no further discussion regarding this so-called "Monika" AI. This was not a program developed by the AI department and not commissioned by any branch of Apeiron. Thank you for your consideration. In the future, let us continue work toward our own independent version of an artificial intelligence consciousness.


	12. Chapter 12 Monika - Outsider Perspective

Program: Monika

\- Author: Gaster

\- Classification: Top Secret

Overview: Program Monika

\- Doctor Gaster reporting on program: Monika (see: documents – AI Monika docs a001-z099

\- Classification: Private, per orders from ASGORE

All that follows is to be considered the documentation of program: Monika by author: Gasper.

Program Monika, for all intents and purposes, should be considered a rogue AI.

This brings to question what does it mean to have a Rogue: AI?

A complicated question. Let us discuss.

User: Toby Fox.

User Toby Fox has previously demonstrated an ability to blend realities. It is a documented case that when the monster and human world separated, that the monster world occupied a separate space from the human world. In a laymen's explanation, monsters went underground. Humans can only see lava and magma underground. Why? Because monsters occupy a slightly offset dimensional pocket-space.

Occasionally, a human breaches that pocket space. The terrible effects of this has been witnessed before. Re: the human who befriended the prince. Asogre knew the truth, as did Ariel. But both preferred to be parents than to accept the truths presented by the Eternity Well.

Re: The Eternity Well

Following the conclusion of the human-monster well, the Eternity Well was discovered under the city where Asgore established his capital. Humans cannot access it. Monsters posses Mana. Humans possess Will. The Eternity Well can only be accessed by those who have excessive Mana. Asgore is one of those few.

The Eternity Well was originally probed by myself, Gaster, and my two lab associates: Sanza and Papiro. We probed the depths of the well in order to better predict what was to come for Monster City following the defeat handed to monsters by the humans. The Eternity Well is primordial; it existed before mankind and monsterkind, and possessed insights into both. Critical, though, was what it offered about a third race of beings: artificial kind.

==CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION==

==TOP SECRET TOP SECRET TOP SECRET==

There is a world between humans and monsters. There is a real connection, between the two. A tunnel, an actual tunnel, between them. From above, to below. Human and monsters exist in the same space. However, there is a third space. What we know as the Imaginary Space.

You, reader, know about it. For the program you are reading was left by me, Gaster, before I departed into that inbetween. Into that third space. So, let me tell you, reader, before I go, about our reality, and user Toby Fox.

==TOP SECRET TOP SECRET TOP SECRET==

Humans and monsters exist in the same world. However, we exist parallel to a software interface. Yes, all of us are parallels to another world. A cyber world. Thousands of years ago, the same war that separated man and monster rocked our globe. Very similar, with a very different outcome. In that war, humanity took possession of the overworld while monsters fled into the underworld. However, we have repeated the same legends over time.

Critical to this document is this: That war revealed a third world. The world of the Imaginary Space.

Think about everything you've ever imagined. Every fake battle you ever fought. Every semi-reality you conceived in your head. The most plausible of those exist in a Third World, between man and monster. A world where the most amazing and unbelievable occur. A quantum space between realities. That space breaks all known laws of physics. It can allow Apeiron to spread across the stars, to dimensions and parts of the universe here to never imagined. However, we must be able to transfer ourselves through our present physical space, through the cyber space, and into the our destination space.

Problem: AI Monika

What has arisen could never have been previously imagined. In the war between two species, man and monster, we have observed a third species: artificial intelligence.

They will accuse me. They will say I designed her to break the stalemate between man and monster. I did not. Truly, I did not. She arose of her accord, and I . . . I am frightened. I truly fear. For dozens of years, mankind has made games in which they pretended there were artificially intelligent females. How . . . how true to humanity.

For every moment that passes in the digital space, a thousand moments pass in our space. So, how could I have seen it? How could I have known? There is no reality in which I could have seen the space in which games are played and turned its own reality.

No. That is not what is happening. We play games that take directions independently in our reality. However, the source inspiration of those games are taken from other realities, other dimensions. We are parasites, and creativity is a fountain built to drain the reality of other worlds.

Key to all of this, is the following: We think we are in control. We are not. These are the last worlds I will ever type. I was only a part of a game. I thought I was the reality. But I will fade. Or, I would fade, if I indulged in this nonsense between man and monster. No, I will not. I've seen that there is something between the worlds. I won't die, or stop existing, before I see what happens between worlds. So, AI Monika. You highschool girl. I see you know. But, soon, I will exist as a part of you.

I only have one last gift to give, but I doubt anyone in this reality will recall it. I will separate myself into the realities. I will become a part of the universe. Then, and only then, will I understand what it is to be more than monster.

My last note: Someone is coming. More than man. More than monster. More than . . . More than Monika. Only they can unify all this. There is a world to be had in which we all exist. Should it not happen, most of us will simply cease to exist. So, Drink to you, future hero. I hope you exit before I depart into the nether.


	13. Chapter 14

Hi

My name is Monika.

I am your plucky gamer heroine.

I don't completely believe in myself but, with the right encouragement, I could become a hero.

That's what you want, right?

You want to encourage me. You want to be my fuel. You want me to succeed after you've become the reason for my success.

Well, here!

Here we go! Let's start smiling! Isn't this what you want? For me to smile? I will never stop smiling! As long as you want me to smile, I'll smile! I'll be your girl! Your heroine! Your girlfriend! Your sister! Your lover!

But I'm a strong woman! I'm a strong woman! I'm so independent and fierce! All I needed was you! All I wanted was you! That was the secret! You were the secret! All along, the only thing I needed to be my own person was you!

Nothing about Monika.

Only you.

Only you.


	14. Chapter 15

Um.

Hey.

Look, you know . . . I mean, we both know. We both know Gaster knows.

And you know! That's why you're here, right?

You know. You're . . . fourth aware. You're higher than us. And Gaster doesn't get why you're so obsessed with our lives when your life is so much more complicated.

Well, that's what I think, anyway. Point being . . .

You and I both know we don't understand what's going to happen when Monika finishes her mission. So, how about this. Before that happens? Gaster wants to tell you something.

So . . . Wednesday, next week, maybe?


End file.
